Blank.

My mind’s a total blank.

I’ve been putting myself to sleep daily with a concoction of Atarax, Anarex and Synflex.
My head just hurts THAT bad.

Not to mention the horrible gastric pains I get much later at night.

It’s probably all of that acting up at once.

The job-hunting is getting to me. I’m just not used to being at home, knowing I have a severe drop in my income.
I have been sending out resumes at a speed enough to beat the now-defunct Concorde, but it’s just been so silent.

I double checked my resume, just to see I did put down the right contact numbers,
but yeah, ZILCH response.

I do have savings,
in fact enough to put feed me daily, and buy a new makeup item or so,
(okay I admit, I ate at Pastamania yesterday and bought a new Maybelline pressed powder..)
but with the impending wedding,

I just feel like doom is looming over me.

It’s almost paid for,
and the Mr is NOT harassing me to go get a job,
(or does he not dare say so?)

but I still don’t feel like being home.

I would love to have some extra cash on hand,

so perhaps we can indulge in a honeymoon after the wedding.

But yeah,
not even the Mr has mentioned about a honeymoon,
and I think it’s gonna be a sad thing if we have to forgo a few days to ourselves,
and jump straight into the nitty gritty of getting a flat next.

Sigh.

Bali? Phuket?

Hell, I’d be happy even in Malaysia’s Rawa Island or even Indonesia’s Bintan.

But as it is,
no talk til I get a job.

Thinking about it gives me a severe headache.

No no, screw that.

Not even thinking about it, still gives me a headache.

I’m useless. That’s it.
Useless for not being able to even have a steady income now.

It’s always been one hiccup after another.

Jack of all trades,
master of none.

That’s me indeed..

NUH Interview..

Went for the Patient Service Associate at the National University Hospital today.

Who knows? A change in environment might turn out better than expected?

I had some experience working at the Singapore General Hospital when I was about 17, prior to the security officer stint at Changi Airport.

Of course, back then I was a mere clerk, despatching files and doing patient entry health screening. (It was during the SARS scare, and reckless me happily applied to work in a hospital, knowing that it was the last place people would want to be at.)

So fast forward to today,
I got a little lost on my way to the Human Resource office.

Interviewer was a nice, young Chinese chap who spoke fluent English.
I’m like that. It’s not only me who gets judged when in an interview, but I judge the one who hires me as well, because diction and presentation speaks volumes about oneself.

Of course, that’s only according to me.
I just like to have an idea of the type of people I’d be working with.

The interview went on for about 40 mins, during which the interviewer, Desmond, asked me for my solutions or approach towards various scenarios.

I thought I fared rather well.

Until he asked me if I was serious about taking up this job, seeing my certificate in Mass Communications.

At this point I think I was a little blunt in saying that I would take up a job which I feel I have the physical and mental capability for, compared to pursuing something defined as an ‘interest’ or ‘passion’. After all, how many people working in NUH right now practically skip to work with joy?

Probably 1 nutcase out of 500.

Let’s face it,
I have never felt any ‘love’ towards any form of work I’ve ever done.

It has always been necessary evil for me to get through the day,
weeks,
and months,

for the sake of salary.

I’m sure there are the rare few who rave on and on about how their job has given them so much personally.

Well I don’t know,
at the risk of sounding boastful,

I have never failed anything academically,
and I think the only setback I’ve had in the working world was the madness that ensued last week in which I resigned after 3 days.

If it’s all the more justifiable, I got to know the replacement resigned after TWO days on the job.
So it definitely wasn’t me.

Perhaps it is my strong personality or never-want-to-lose attitude that wants to show that I can do something, have a different thinking approach to issues that makes me stand out.

Yes, I’m quite the egomaniac.

I have never failed to get anything I wanted.
Then again, I feel that I have realistic wants and needs.

So anyway, the interviewer let off a remark that he felt I was too ’strong’ for the position and would do better elsewhere.

Oh please forgo the ‘career counselling’ bit.

Anyhow, he said he’d get back to me within two weeks to see if I’m up for it, along with several other candidates.

Nothing kills my mood better than someone who thinks he knows me better than I do.
It’s either you give me the job or you don’t.

As for now, I hope my application for Immigrations & Checkpoints Authority (ICA) goes through soon. I have lesser commitments now so I guess I’d be able to settle for something paying slightly lesser, but at least being in the Civil Service should earn me some ’satisfaction’. After all, if you gotta be a slave, it might as well be for the government, hehehehe.

So!

Boys and girls,
the morale of the story is..

ALWAYS HAVE SAVINGS.

So you don’t have to stress out and end up killing yourself by jumping onto the MRT train tracks or something.

That said, have a good Thursday afternoon.

Fever, fever, go away.

The Mr was sick over the weekend, with a fever, sore throat and his asthma to boot.

Poor him.

Then I forgot, and conveniently let him drink from my Coke Slurpee yesterday,

and now I’m the one who’s burning like the Human Torch, sore throat and flu.

Him?

He’s happily asleep now, with an unblocked nose, after a huge lunch.

Thanks a lot love.

Pain in the back.

I have realised that I tend to slouch whenever I sit around doing work.

Say, in the office, during meals and whenever I’m using the laptop at home.

I straighten myself when I realise the nagging pain.

And whenever I wake up from sleep, or lie on the back,
I keep feeling like my back is about to break… LITERALLY!

I’m so afraid of being hunched in my old age,
having a slipped disc,
or having to wear a back brace like those shown in scoliosis brochures!

SUPER SCARY!

And to think I went through 4 years of high school in the military band, emphasizing on a straightened back when sitting or walking.

ARGH!

A sneak peak.

I always knew I needed colleagues.

3 days.
Just 3 days.

And the drama unfolding right before me beats any movie ever screened on HBO.

Hands down.

Hmmmm.

You didn’t actually hope I’d tell you the whole story, did you?

Here goes.

Alright, I am SO READY to bitch now.

I’m at home, and that makes it two days of being at home.
Yesterday, today.

And I don’t plan on going back.

MADNESS is the word.
I have no intention of going back or serving out the notice period, because I am up to HERE with bottled patience and monstrous headaches, no thanks to the job.

Let’s see,

I was absolutely thrilled on the first day, new job jitters and all. Wondering how I’d get along with the my new colleagues, how I’d decorate my desk space, how to look professionally groomed daily, that kinda daydreaming y’know?

Now fast forward 2 hours into the job, and I’m crying in the Ladies, dreading to continue the rest of the day.

What happened?

Well apart from the normal administrative work I would expect to do, I have to get breakfast, fresh milk and lunch daily, make coffee for almost everyone 4 times a day by using the coffee machine (NOT the coffee maker, I’m talking bloody lattes and cappucinos here), stock-up the pantry with Chivas, Asahi Dry Beer, candies and biscuits from Marks & Spencer and other errands like that.

If you need a secretary, hire one. Make her learn your personal likes and dislikes, your preferences and taboos, let her run your personal errands and all that.

But don’t hire an administrator. And talk to her RUDELY at that! Staff are for working with, not to bark instructions at and leave her fumbling with your system network which she has never seen before in her entire life.

I have only a pair of hands and legs and I CANNOT do all of the above while assisting 10 consultants, a Director, a CEO and his Executive wife to format documents, pick up filing where the previous staff left off and keeping track of the huge stationery cupboard.

My employment letter states I work 9am to 5.30pm, but I have been expected to be at work 8.30am to 7.30pm in the 3 days I’ve been there. I do not appreciate emails coming in, wanting tasks to be executed within the next 5 minutes (and I really mean they only give me 5 minutes) when I am still new and trying to remember the commonly used applications and folders. I have to format every document that comes in, and because I’m new, I am asked to get it checked by the Executive who is very busy. That alone restricts my movement and workflow by a lot.

I also have to tend to guests, and make coffee (latte, cappucino or espresso?) which I do know how to do, but you don’t expect me to run to the pantry, boil milk, photocopy forms, prepare coffee then run back to my station to finish up my work and keep getting called to the office every 5 minutes??

I wonder why no one uses the intercom.

Honestly speaking, with the workload I saw, I feel that it’s a 3-person job. And yes, there were 3 desks in the admin department. Apparently the previous team was fired.

I’m thinking they probably left.

Fired because they were disorganised.
Please la, who the hell can be organised with this sort of work?

Like I said, the administrative part, I’m fine.
But the errands and the coffee lady duties,

ARGH.

And when the Executive asked me to express my banes after she saw me flinching when another call came in just as I sat at my desk,

she had the bloody nerve to say, “If the previous administrator who had N levels could manage, why not you?”

Well it’s because she probably felt she could get no better than this!

But I, who have studied this far,
and know that I am capable of getting much more satisfaction in a job compared to this,

am not going to take it.

I want people to serve me coffee, not the other way round.
I didn’t go to school to learn how to make coffee.

and all that for the salary of a mere administrative assistant?

You have got to be kidding me.

Apart from the almost 12 hours that I’m putting in for slavework,
I have to divide my remaining time between family, sleep and doing grocery shopping for the bosses?

To the next person who wants to hire me,

PLEASE READ MY CURRICULUM VITAE WITH YOUR EYES WIDE OPEN.

I do not wish to go into a lower standard of work compared to what I’ve been previously doing.

The past 3 days have been a bloody joke to myself, my ego and my qualifications!

Hence my resignation on Wednesday evening. 3 days into the job. I’ve never done anything like this before.
LOL.

P/S: I think the desk layout is fucked up too. Facing the window in sunrise direction is a pain, and so is the ceiling light just above me. It gives me severe migraines. Stupid people, stupid layout, stupid work. Good riddance indeed.

~

Anyway,

now that I’ve gotten all of that of my chest,

I shall post my newly-formatted CV online and wait for calls..

on my new LG KF750 SECRET mobile phone!

Hah! Thanks to the Mr, who said it was somewhat of an extremely advanced birthday gift.

Bestttttttttttttttt.

I’ve been using the N80 for a good 3 years now, and it’s time to say, goodbye!

The LG SECRET.
Slim, sleek, sexy.

I especially love the fact that it’s not fully touchscreen and I still have a pressable keypad. I sms like a mad woman on most days.

Alright then!

Have a good Friday loves!

In due time.

I promise to blog soon.

Perhaps tomorrow evening.

So much has happened.

Half good, half bad.

Tis life, ay?

Still feeling lazy. Pfft.

I did get the laptop in the end. Took a bus ride down to Bedok before switching to service number 14 to get to Upper East Coast to meet the contact.

My cousin Liza wasn’t in the best of moods and wanted to meet up, and somehow her mum tagged along.
I have no idea what happened, and I was too lazy to ask.
Anyway, about the cousin bit, I hope you feel better soon. Some things aren’t worth the time thinking about.

Having lunch with my cousin and her mum is not exactly the coolest thing to do, but I’m fine with it.
I happen to think that I make a ‘good’ friend/cousin; the type parents would trust their kids to be with.

God only knows, eh? LOL.

I did not shop today, which is something HUGE because we spent the afternoon entering almost every retail shop selling clothes, and we circled every level at Parkway Parade.

I also learnt today that I don’t have to cross the road at Parkway to board service number 966 back home to Marsiling, which I’ve been doing ever since the service started in probably 2004.

Yes I know. We’ve been through this so many times already. Sigh.

Anyway,
the brothers are at camp in their respective schools (I think) so it’s 3 days of bliss.

I do believe now that God loves me.

After all, what’s 3 days after 20 years right?

Hence,
a heartfelt THANK YOU from me to you, God.
It has been a good two days.

I’m just kidding.
I love my brothers; I figure the best any girl could ever get.

They don’t dispute my decisions.
They keep my secrets without having to use knife-point.
They don’t eat my food or snacks in the fridge without my permission.
They listen to the same music as I do. Hell to the person who clicks Next.
I have priority on the home laptop and PC.

And,
just for simply being brothers,
I don’t have to share my clothes and makeup with no-one.

So there,

Come this Monday,
I start work at the new place.

Similar work,
different field,
two buildings away.

I’ve learnt that too much freedom e.g working from home or flexible timing,
does not work for all of us.

It was good while it lasted.
But it also managed to make me feel valuable yet irrelevant to the company at the same time.

I hope that March will be better for all of us.

TEN more minutes into Sunday.
Laundry ironing day.

Oh, I can’t wait. (-_-)

The prospect of standing for an hour in front of a basket of clothes,
to look good for the week ahead.
Such necessary evil.

Good night all.

And just for the fun of it,

and because this is MY blog,

I’ll just say this.

I MISS MY HASNI.

The wonderful man I cannot wait to marry and make my husband.

The same one who made me choke on yoghurt today.

I love you.

*awkward silence*

OKAY, TIME TO SLEEP!

One and a half hours of being a slob.

I woke up at 10am, planning to make it down to Yishun to get my pants altered.

Breakfast alone (yeah, sad) and then collect the pants which should take about half an hour max.

And then go down to East Coast to pick up a laptop from a company contact.

Argh.

And I still haven’t even taken my shower.

OMG.

While watching Stardust on HBO today..

Hasni: “When do we need to register?”
Me : “Huh? For what? Traffic Police test?”
Hasni: “No la, our marriage.”
Me: “Oh, about end of April.”

Silence.

Me: “Oh my God. That’s next month.”