One week down. Seven more to go.

The first week of my course; the first assessment and I scored 95%.

Happy? Absolutely not. I lost marks because when I was asked to name 5 COUNTRIES in Area 1, I wrote..

1. Greenland
2. Caribbean Islands
3. Midway-Palyra Islands
4. New York
5. Georgia

Like, hello?! New York and Georgia are STATES in the U.S! What is wrong with me! I know it’s no excuse but I suppose the combination of 2 Panadol Cold caplets plus 2 doses of cough syrup to keep the fever, flu and cough at bay made me rather drowsy before the lunch hour, which was when we did the assessment.

Losing marks is one thing, but losing them due to sheer carelessness is absolutely unforgivable!
ARGHHHH..!

That aside, I’ve made some new friends from the colleagues in the same batch as me. Pretty nice people. But I somehow find myself hanging around the Indian girls a little more than the Malays. No offence whatsoever, but I just find that this particular group of Malay girls are simply OTT (over the top). From their makeup, to their clothes, to the way they speak (where did that absolutely fake accent come from?) to their general behaviour when interacting with the males in the class.

I’ve been having one such specimen seated beside me for the last three days of the week, with her hipster jeans slung down to half of her posterior, exposing what is supposed to be her Gstring I suppose. I pity the Gstring. Really.

I’m not trying to be mean (I’m not naming anyone anyway) but picture this.

A girl, double my size. With a chest (okay la, BOOBS) half the size of your truly (you don’t need to really know my size, do you?) with an awful tummy sticking out. Her jeans are a desperate effort of trying to cling to her nonexistent hips which are covered with stretchmarks on cellulite, half-exposed, with her Gstring on display for all and sundry. Oh, and her hair is the rundown colour of rusted wire.

And she’s speaking like an American. Only with very bad grammar.

Female specimen “You wants to have lunch where eh?”
“….?!!!….”

What’s with the accent, woman?
Just because we’re working for a US-based company, it doesn’t mean we have to speak like an American.

I’ve been working at the airport for years, and communication has never failed between me and the English-speaking passengers despite their accents BECAUSE, one must never try to be what one is not.

They’ll either be:

1. appalled at the slaughter of their accents, attempted by you;
2. wondering what the hell you’re actually trying to say; OR
3. thinking what kind of damage Sir Stamford Raffles did when he discovered this colony of ours back in 1819.

No wonder they say some Singaporeans have an identity crisis. They don’t know who or what they actually are or want to be!